


Check-In

by ereshai



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Implied Relationships, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Pre-Apocalypse, Set during the Nanny Ashtoreth era, if 6 years can be called an era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 17:51:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20050111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ereshai/pseuds/ereshai
Summary: Co-workers can be very annoying.





	Check-In

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a couple of posts on tumblr along the lines of Crowley telling other demons that he hung around Aziraphale because he was tempting him/trying to seduce him. I love that idea, but then I immediately had this one in response.

There was something in the air, like the moment before lightning strikes, or just after. The birds had fallen silent, and the skittering insects made no sound as they swarmed out of odd clumps in the leaf-strewn ground. Crowley flicked one off the toe of his boot and waited.

Why must demons always be so dramatic[1]? At least it wasn’t a cemetery this time.

Hastur and Ligur rose from the earth. Dirt fell away from their bodies as if repelled, but infernal filth still clung to them, like unholy glitter[2].

“Greetings, Crowley,” Hastur rumbled. Ligur stood next to him and folded his arms across his chest.

Crowley rolled his eyes and jerked his head in a nod of greeting. “Let’s get on with it, shall we?”

“First, the Deeds of the Day,” Hastur said. “I planted doubt in a newly married woman’s mind about the fidelity of her husband.”

“And I tempted the husband with thoughts of all the women he can’t have anymore,” Ligur added. “They’ll be breaking their vows within the month.”

“Moved on to couples work now, have you?” Crowley sneered. “How romantic.”

Hastur and Ligur stared at him.

“Right then. Today I-”

“Tell us about the angel,” Hastur said.

It wasn’t that Crowley hadn’t been expecting this. There was no way Hell wouldn’t notice Aziraphale hanging about the Antichrist, so Crowley had reported his presence himself. It was inevitable they would question why he was  _ still _ hanging about after a few years. They didn’t want Heaven interfering. “What about him?”

“Why’s he still hanging about?” Ligur asked.

“He must not be allowed to interfere with the boy,” Hastur growled. He did that a lot.

“The boy’s fine. The angel tries to thwart me, but I’m too wily. It’s all very Old Testament.” A small lie, mostly true. That wouldn’t be enough for Hastur.

“Why haven’t you driven him away?”

“Got to keep an eye on the other side, haven’t I? Better to know what they’re up to, easier to guard against, innit?” The thing was, Crowley had come up with a reason they would accept for allowing Aziraphale to be near the boy, but when it came right down to it, he didn’t want to use it. They would believe that Crowley would attempt to seduce an angel. His ego was big enough and no demon had ever done such a thing; it would be quite an accomplishment. But Crowley didn’t want them thinking of his angel like that, sullying him with their slimy thoughts[3]. Not that Aziraphale would know, nor would he be surprised if he ever learned of it, but Crowley would know, and he wasn’t having it. “Anyway, what can the angel do? The boy’s very nature is evil. God Herself could raise him and he’d still turn out the way we want.” Crowley was fervently hoping - almost to the point of prayer - that wasn’t the case.

Hastur and Ligur were not impressed with his argument, judging by their flat stares. Or perhaps it was mere incomprehension - they might be dukes of Hell but they weren’t the sharpest knives in the torture chamber. Hell didn’t require intelligence, just obedience, and these two tended to be enthusiastic about it.

“I’ve got this handled, gents. It’ll be Armageddon in no time.”

“See that you do,” Hastur said, vaguely threatening and utterly nonsensical. 

“Must go. Things to do, Antichrist to raise and all that. Ta.” Crowley sauntered away. He’d bought them some time, at least until the boy’s eleventh birthday, when it wouldn’t matter anymore. It would have to be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> 1He thought with a complete lack of self-awareness.[return to text]  
2 Glitter was already unholy, of course. One of Crowley’s proudest achievements.[return to text]  
3 He hadn’t even told them Aziraphale’s name because he couldn’t bear to have the sound of it in their foul mouths.[return to text]


End file.
